Bathtime

Finally, early last week, baby girl was given a bath. She was so calm and content, just like her brother was in the water. I'm guessing her baths will be a bit fewer and farther between than her brother's were (I'm sorry, my second child), but if they continue to be such a sweet, mellow time, we may start bathing her more often just for the smiles she inspires.

On Being Parents of Two

We're only a couple of weeks into this parenting two thing, but I have to say, we're happily surprised at how smooth this transition has been. Part of it, I think, is just the confidence of having done this before and knowing that our first child has survived (so far!) and thrived. So, there's none of the worry about the little things like there was last time.

We're doing many things differently this time around. We don't look at the clock to decide if Nora needs to eat; instead, we just pay attention to how she's acting and she nurses no matter how long it's been since the last time. None of that "baby should be eating every three hours" silliness, and no writing it all down. (Did we really write down every single feeding and diaper change last time?!) This is especially helpful at night; with AJ, we had him in a pack-n-play bassinet next to our bed, and we'd both wake up every time he did. This time, Nora sleeps in our bed and I (barely) wake up whenever she needs me. I am so much more rested than I anticipated, and it is wonderful. I'm guessing she wakes up every 2.5-3.5 hours, but honestly, that's a really wild guess and I actually don't have a clue. And really, I hope to keep it that way.

As for keeping the balance between the mister and the miss, we've been trying to keep things as similar as we can to how they were before Nora was born. For us, that means not using the TV or anything as a means of occupying his attention, making sure we make time to go outside and to the park, reading together, cooking together, etc. We've been trying to make sure he's really getting our attention, eye contact and all, without overcompensating for his having to share us now. The hardest thing, I think, is keeping our language in check; we really don't want to "blame" the baby for things, as in "I can't play with you right now because Nora needs..." That, I'm finding, is much easier said than done. I've been trying to say things like "When you were a baby, I had to hold you when you were fussing, too. Now I have to do the same thing for baby Nora." I'm not sure how much more effective that will be, but for now that's the best I've come up with.

Not getting overly frustrated with our boy has been the other struggle recently. I feel like the quality of our parenting decreased right after Nora was born; fortunately, we recognized it pretty quickly - although not before the negative effects of it were already evident. Once we noticed it, though, it was pretty easy to keep our commitment to change in the forefront of our minds. I think that seeing the cause and effect so clearly - his behavior deteriorated more as our responses became less kind - has made it easier to stay focused on parenting in love, no matter what. I wish that it came naturally and didn't feel like we're swimming upstream at times, but the reality is, it's hard sometimes. I've been praying a lot for patience and love and perspective that I know I just can't cultivate on my own. Thank goodness we're not alone in this and there's Someone whose grace is sufficient to cover all of our shortcomings.

In spite of any difficulties, we know we are so blessed to spend our days with these two sweet kiddos. I can't wait to see how our family dynamic evolves over the coming weeks and months, and I hope we can remember to be grateful for each other in every moment, even - and especially - the tough ones.

Hands

Hers, folded together while she was nursing a few days ago:

His, holding hers:

Our First Week Together

Nora was held and loved on by her beautiful Aunt Nikki:

Daddy and Aunt Nikki got her tiny little footprints:

Cuddles and examination from an excited big brother:

Together, on her birth day:

Day-after weighing by Dr. Lori (six-and-a-half pounds):

Friends:

Thursday, our fourth wedding anniversary:

Getting fixed by her brother:

Pretty girls in matching jammies:

More snuggles - and thumb sucking! - with Aunt Nikki:

Lots of attention and love from AJ:

Plenty of cuddling with Mama, both indoors and out:

Photos with friends:

What a week it was, together with these incredible people, both big and little. Here's hoping the littlest among them doesn't grow too fast and that we don't let time slip by us too quickly. Here's to slowing down, pausing, appreciating, and remembering to be so thankful for these blessings being poured out over us.

{this moment}

{this moment} à la SouleMama - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

Nora Lorraine: Her Birth Story

*Disclaimer: Since this is a birth story, there will be talk of contractions, pushing, water breaking, and the like. Feel free to pass this post by if you'd rather not hear (or see) the details.

Our little girl is five days old, and I'm already starting to forget those tiny little - but oh so important to a mama - details of her birth. Here's what I can remember:

I'd been having strong contractions in the evening since Thanksgiving, but they'd always taper off around the time we went upstairs to bed. Sunday morning brought a few contractions early in the day, but they tapered off again until evening time. Then, on Monday morning, the contractions woke me up just after 2am. They were so strong that I knew I wouldn't be able to get back to sleep, so I put some music on, put headphones on, and went into the bathroom to lean on the towel bar and pass the time for awhile. I sent a message to my parents and one of my best friends, since I knew they'd be up on the east coast; talking to them even just a bit was a welcome distraction, since I was trying to let James sleep as long as I could.

A little after 2:30am, I woke him. It took a little while to make sure he was really awake, but once he was up it was so reassuring and comforting to have his company and support. I called Dr. Lori a little after 3am, to let her know that I thought we'd need her sometime soon, then sent her a message at 3:13 to tell her that the contractions had gotten even stronger than when I had just spoken to her. Immediately, she told us she was on her way. I asked James to put pressure on the center of my lower back during contractions, because they felt like they went all the way through to my spine, while I leaned against our closet door. It didn't take the discomfort away, obviously, but it did make a big difference. At some point, I asked James to make a new playlist on the phone, because too many of the songs I'd chosen were too slow to be helpful; I think we found a whole four songs on the list that I wanted to listen to, and I was hoping that no one would be annoyed at the replaying of our limited selection over and over again.

I went to wake up Nikki, and Dr. Lori and her assistant Jaymie arrived soon after. They made sure that they knew where everything was - chux pads, receiving blankets, garbage bags, etc. - then went downstairs to give us some space until they were needed. I continued to labor against the closet door, and James supported my back through each contraction. It took some effort to talk and joke between contractions; at some point, there didn't seem to be much in-between time. I felt my body starting to push before my water broke, and I wondered to myself if we could really be that close to baby being born; when he noticed me pushing, James had Nikki call for Dr. Lori and Jaymie to come back up. A few involuntary pushes later, my water broke in a huge gush. Unlike with AJ, with the breaking came the tiniest bit of relief; I said as much to Jaymie before the next contraction began, and then it was back to pushing. It was so nice - relatively speaking! - to just let my body push by itself, as opposed to being coached through it or actively trying to push. It was much easier to just let it happen. It wasn't long at all before I felt baby's head start to come out; I must have had my eyes closed, because I was suddenly aware of Jaymie gently reminding me to breathe calmly to slow baby down. I opened my eyes to see her face near mine and her eyes on mine, breathing nice and deep; that was exactly what I needed in that moment, and I am still impressed and grateful that she knew just how to connect with me at that time. I held my hand on baby's head as it delivered - just like we'd thought, baby's left hand was up by her face. I'd wanted to catch the baby, but when the time came I knew I couldn't physically do it. I was still standing against the closet door, on my toes (I don't know why, but I couldn't not be on my toes then) and I knew I couldn't make my muscles and my body cooperate to safely catch baby. Dr. Lori knew we wanted Nikki to catch the baby if I didn't, so after she asked me she had Nikki gently guide baby out. Four minutes after my water broke, baby was born and in my arms.

Afterward, James told me that he saw that baby was a girl as she was coming out; he told me, but I didn't hear him. Nikki saw as she was catching baby, but didn't say anything so that the discovery could be mine. So it wasn't until several minutes later, once we were laying in bed, that I pulled my thoughts together and found my voice and was able to ask James if we had a boy or a girl. He smiled as I looked up at him, and told me that she was a girl. I grinned and said, "Really?" and asked if they were sure and if we could check again. They showed me, and James says a huge smile spread across my face, rather permanently. It was so hard to believe! For the next few days, we kept saying to each other, "Can you believe we have a little girl?!"

Dr. Lori asked me if I could move my shirt a bit so that Nora could be skin-to-skin, and James went to wake AJ. Our sweet boy came into our room in his daddy's arms with the biggest smile on his face. He gave me a kiss right away, and was immediately so interested in his little sister. It was the most wonderful feeling to see him be so kind, loving, and attentive toward her. He and Aunt Nikki cut the baby's cord; Nikki actually had to ask him to loosen his grip a little bit so that she could move the scissors, he was holding on so tight! Then he came to sit with us and marvel at his sister a little more.

We Skyped with my parents and Danelia, who'd been waiting for our call. At some point, Dr. Lori asked me to relax my legs a bit and focus on delivering the placenta. I don't remember delivering the placenta with AJ, so I was unsure of how it would feel; fortunately, it was no big deal. Eventually it was time to measure baby; she weighed in at six pounds fifteen ounces and measured twenty-one inches long - an ounce lighter and an inch longer than AJ was. Big brother got to help Dr. Lori measure Nora and check Mama's blood pressure, which has stayed nice and low throughout this whole pregnancy. Then it was time for Daddy and AJ to hold Nora before Dr. Lori and Jaymie said their goodbyes. Sometime after 6am, the four of us curled up in bed for a few hours of refreshing sleep.

I couldn't have asked for a more wonderful birth experience; I am so glad that we could be at home, and things couldn't have gone more smoothly. What a gift God gave us in this sweet little girl, and her amazing birth.

James telling me she's a girl:

Welcome to the world, Nora Lorraine. We are so thankful for you!