It's a wonderful life.

When a family's adoption story grows silent, I always wonder how things are. If everything turned out okay. Now that we've been absent here for over a year, I thought I'd return with a quick update, just in case someone else delving into the adoption world, looking for any information they can, happens upon this space.

Our Christmas cards last year read, "It's a wonderful life." That's really an accurate summary. Of course there are hard moments and days and weeks, and there are tears shed and raised voices and frequent need for forgiveness, for all of us. But more than that, there is joy and fun and togetherness and adventure and celebrating. There is love and grace and more good things than we can count.

We're homeschooling again this year, as it continues to be such a good (if sometimes difficult) fit for our family. We have two independent readers and two boys eager to learn, and are filling many of our days with many good books, as everyone in this house loves a good story more than almost anything.

We are happily awaiting the arrival of baby number six (!), another little sister, who we're expecting in the next few weeks. We're also enjoying the last few weeks before James's first deployment. This year holds big, new things for all of us, that is for sure. If there's one thing we know, it's how little we know of what God has planned for us in the days and months to come!

Nora Lorraine: Her Birth Story

*Disclaimer: Since this is a birth story, there will be talk of contractions, pushing, water breaking, and the like. Feel free to pass this post by if you'd rather not hear (or see) the details.

Our little girl is five days old, and I'm already starting to forget those tiny little - but oh so important to a mama - details of her birth. Here's what I can remember:

I'd been having strong contractions in the evening since Thanksgiving, but they'd always taper off around the time we went upstairs to bed. Sunday morning brought a few contractions early in the day, but they tapered off again until evening time. Then, on Monday morning, the contractions woke me up just after 2am. They were so strong that I knew I wouldn't be able to get back to sleep, so I put some music on, put headphones on, and went into the bathroom to lean on the towel bar and pass the time for awhile. I sent a message to my parents and one of my best friends, since I knew they'd be up on the east coast; talking to them even just a bit was a welcome distraction, since I was trying to let James sleep as long as I could.

A little after 2:30am, I woke him. It took a little while to make sure he was really awake, but once he was up it was so reassuring and comforting to have his company and support. I called Dr. Lori a little after 3am, to let her know that I thought we'd need her sometime soon, then sent her a message at 3:13 to tell her that the contractions had gotten even stronger than when I had just spoken to her. Immediately, she told us she was on her way. I asked James to put pressure on the center of my lower back during contractions, because they felt like they went all the way through to my spine, while I leaned against our closet door. It didn't take the discomfort away, obviously, but it did make a big difference. At some point, I asked James to make a new playlist on the phone, because too many of the songs I'd chosen were too slow to be helpful; I think we found a whole four songs on the list that I wanted to listen to, and I was hoping that no one would be annoyed at the replaying of our limited selection over and over again.

I went to wake up Nikki, and Dr. Lori and her assistant Jaymie arrived soon after. They made sure that they knew where everything was - chux pads, receiving blankets, garbage bags, etc. - then went downstairs to give us some space until they were needed. I continued to labor against the closet door, and James supported my back through each contraction. It took some effort to talk and joke between contractions; at some point, there didn't seem to be much in-between time. I felt my body starting to push before my water broke, and I wondered to myself if we could really be that close to baby being born; when he noticed me pushing, James had Nikki call for Dr. Lori and Jaymie to come back up. A few involuntary pushes later, my water broke in a huge gush. Unlike with AJ, with the breaking came the tiniest bit of relief; I said as much to Jaymie before the next contraction began, and then it was back to pushing. It was so nice - relatively speaking! - to just let my body push by itself, as opposed to being coached through it or actively trying to push. It was much easier to just let it happen. It wasn't long at all before I felt baby's head start to come out; I must have had my eyes closed, because I was suddenly aware of Jaymie gently reminding me to breathe calmly to slow baby down. I opened my eyes to see her face near mine and her eyes on mine, breathing nice and deep; that was exactly what I needed in that moment, and I am still impressed and grateful that she knew just how to connect with me at that time. I held my hand on baby's head as it delivered - just like we'd thought, baby's left hand was up by her face. I'd wanted to catch the baby, but when the time came I knew I couldn't physically do it. I was still standing against the closet door, on my toes (I don't know why, but I couldn't not be on my toes then) and I knew I couldn't make my muscles and my body cooperate to safely catch baby. Dr. Lori knew we wanted Nikki to catch the baby if I didn't, so after she asked me she had Nikki gently guide baby out. Four minutes after my water broke, baby was born and in my arms.

Afterward, James told me that he saw that baby was a girl as she was coming out; he told me, but I didn't hear him. Nikki saw as she was catching baby, but didn't say anything so that the discovery could be mine. So it wasn't until several minutes later, once we were laying in bed, that I pulled my thoughts together and found my voice and was able to ask James if we had a boy or a girl. He smiled as I looked up at him, and told me that she was a girl. I grinned and said, "Really?" and asked if they were sure and if we could check again. They showed me, and James says a huge smile spread across my face, rather permanently. It was so hard to believe! For the next few days, we kept saying to each other, "Can you believe we have a little girl?!"

Dr. Lori asked me if I could move my shirt a bit so that Nora could be skin-to-skin, and James went to wake AJ. Our sweet boy came into our room in his daddy's arms with the biggest smile on his face. He gave me a kiss right away, and was immediately so interested in his little sister. It was the most wonderful feeling to see him be so kind, loving, and attentive toward her. He and Aunt Nikki cut the baby's cord; Nikki actually had to ask him to loosen his grip a little bit so that she could move the scissors, he was holding on so tight! Then he came to sit with us and marvel at his sister a little more.

We Skyped with my parents and Danelia, who'd been waiting for our call. At some point, Dr. Lori asked me to relax my legs a bit and focus on delivering the placenta. I don't remember delivering the placenta with AJ, so I was unsure of how it would feel; fortunately, it was no big deal. Eventually it was time to measure baby; she weighed in at six pounds fifteen ounces and measured twenty-one inches long - an ounce lighter and an inch longer than AJ was. Big brother got to help Dr. Lori measure Nora and check Mama's blood pressure, which has stayed nice and low throughout this whole pregnancy. Then it was time for Daddy and AJ to hold Nora before Dr. Lori and Jaymie said their goodbyes. Sometime after 6am, the four of us curled up in bed for a few hours of refreshing sleep.

I couldn't have asked for a more wonderful birth experience; I am so glad that we could be at home, and things couldn't have gone more smoothly. What a gift God gave us in this sweet little girl, and her amazing birth.

James telling me she's a girl:

Welcome to the world, Nora Lorraine. We are so thankful for you!

A Little Bit of Big News

Baby #3 is due in November!

Of course, that semi-faint line makes the photo not quite as exciting, but compared to the faintness of the first two tests (they made us wonder if our eyes were just playing tricks on us), this one's got two lines for sure.

Our journey - and oh, was it a journey - to finding out about this pregnancy was a crazy one, complete with immediate symptoms, the dentist being the first one to think I was pregnant, and a negative blood test. Yep, crazy with a capital "c."

But, here we are, eleven weeks in. We met with a home birth midwife on April 25th; there are only a handful of midwives on the island who attend home births, so we were really hoping to love at least one of these two ladies who share a practice. And wouldn't you know, God is so great that we both knew we loved Dr. Lori right off the bat! We talked a lot and asked a lot of questions, but we both knew before all of those questions were even answered that we were really comfortable with her. We'll still meet with the other midwife she works with, Dr. Madeline, at some point, but we've already gone ahead and made our first appointment with Dr. Lori in a couple of weeks. We're really excited to hear the baby's heartbeat on the Doppler then, since we had a little scare the weekend before last; we did see baby's heart flickering away on a quick ultrasound early Sunday morning (April 22nd), so we know all is well right now. God has kept this baby strong and healthy, and we could not be more thankful or excited!